Laying the nomad to convention

please



help me



find my



first place to live where i pay the rent.

Finally as of tomorrow night i will be in LA, a permanent resident.

i guess that means i can only eat raw spinach, cocaine, and diet water.

when you wish upon a chemical combustion

some times i think about what a terrible plague the
imagination is.
things like this are created, not that there bad
just that they translate an emotion thats really
at the root of all imaginative opus.

the sediment of "there's a better place"

but really when we listen to that
we just continue to lie to our selves.
which im equally guilty of, but sometimes
feel i have a perspective on the problems it brings

there is what there is, false manipulation
will only cause more desperation.

im sorry you cant be edward scissorhands raphael.

two roads divirge, i take the one less depressing.

gah, stuck in arizona for a few more days, my friend tim
who i am moving to LA with, his car broke down. now
we are waiting to get it back to head through the desert
and not look back.

whatever stay calm, its not like anyone would know
if christopher columbus left 4 days late.

in chicago i ate a hot dog with onions,
saw a grand slam sitting behind 2nd base at a sox's game,
ate deep dish pizza and stayed up to 2 am drinking
scotch with my surrogate grandmother.

speaking of which now you really can go look at
http://yellowtails.livejournal.com/
to see chicago photos

Grand Slammed

chicago was indescribable (so read about it on my
travel pagehttp://yellowtails.livejournal.com/)

these are the fruits of my labor that i drewed on
in the airplane
also on that airplane this guy next to me
was reading "portrait of an artist as a young man"

i was like

"dude, do you that book?"
"its one of my favorites"

he replied

"pffffft, naw dawg i gotta read this shit for school"

i move to LA tomorrow, there will be another lul in post
im sorry

but

"pffffft, naw dawg i gotta read this shit for school"

Mental sucker punches

i recently expressed to a dear hearted and minded person
that i often sit and talk with with people listen to there
"theories" (but more so drunk hypothesis) and the whole
time all i can think as they express there old tired
ideas of repackaged art.

is

"what i know, could destroy you."

when i told her that she eloquently agreed.
and understood.
I trust this because she comes from an even more
clinical lab then I.

richard ramirez liked it.

im moving to La, on the 28th, from 22-27 ill be in chicago (and not updating)

once in La you should help me find a housing and a jobs

Dont believe everything you read.

C. G. Jung said
"its not important what we believe just that we believe."

recently i believe i should join the airforce.

with a belief in a new vedic belief



fly a plan, kill a man, fight for something i don't believe in.
to better understand my belief. whitman did it, so did
hemingway, disney, jarrell, stienbeck, etc.
you know the american minds/authors that worn't crap.

i mean im not quit able to sit on a beach in front of
mount etna with my fellow apprentice nude behind
roman robe debating the arcane ideas of pre-socratic
philosophy letting my locks tangle in the
warm Sicilian breeze.



no my life is much more metaphoric of chthonian zeus
raping his daughter. perceived as animalistic, callus,
and bad-hearted, but workingfor a greater acquisition

so i should take the sky and strike with a vengeance
not because I believe thats the right thing to do.

but because i dont believe in much.

Why so serious?

Isaac Newton father of calculus and classical mechanics
was recorded to have only laughed once in his life
when asked why geometry was important.

all men created equally

its quite comforting to know i could
hate my self more.


these are some youtube comment quotes
from this video
I find them more enlightening then shakespeare.

xbandwagonx says,
"haha japanese pople get off on shit shit, its so weired"

violetbloodtimisoara says,
"nuce booobs!"

zerebro02 says,
"I like this, which scares to me are the bombs of the North Americans"

Notorious1239 says,
"i hear ppl saying its a guy....HEY FUCK U ARE U A GUY OR A GIRL _|_ U SUCK MAN"

which was then resonded to by Betmig who said

"she have boobs, it can't be a guy"

and finally JEVAH5 says,

this is child?!?

hei who is using that camera?
family from child on camera??

the unsleepable beast

Gaunder told Ellis

"uns time for touching da sharks"

together they walked down to the
beach where the purple hues of
a dying sun set.
they entered the water, there velvet
capes dragged them to the depths
as they filled with water.

Ellis said "uns much like das
poem of tear id wroten"

"ya ines know" said Gunder.

soon there mascara was blending
perfectly with the black abyss
they had entered. The only thing they
could really make out was the moon's
reflection on the empty blood red
bordeaux wine bottle floating along with
them.
Gunder pulled out his Grandfathers WW II
Hitler Youth dagger and cut two upside
down crosses, one in each wrist. He
passed it to Ellis who did the same.

they struggled to stay a float as there
lace, velvet, and leather, took on
more and more water.

soon they saw a reflection beneath
the water, they felt the cool smooth
gray fin brush there combat boots.
and knew it would soon be finished.

"uns was write Gunder, das shark
can not sleep"

soon you could hear there screams from
the beach, and soon they were silenced
by the time a boat had reached them
all they saw was pools of blood and the
wine bottle.

when they took out the bottle from the water,
inside, they found the young couples suicide
note, reading

dear life,

I GOTHED YA!!!


the end.



sorry, i was downloading german industrial
goth and watching shark documentaries all day.

on a better note, Happy Birthday Frank Anzalone.
your a better man then most, even if you told me
every day as i was growing up that "lifes a bitch
and then you die"

and now you have to deal with a gay retard son
who writes storys about goth fags and wears
womens shoes

attractive aesthetics are unattractive

one of the hardest things for me to handle or figure
how to use to my advantage is the margilization
of aesthetics

its to a point today in my eyes where an
"artsy photographs" or "fashionable" style is as
disgusting and generic as a god damn bud-wiser
commercial.




how the hell do we let this infiltrate our community so easily.
how can we sit here and and garble in this 80's rehash
high waist "crazy" patten t-shirt crap that is as packaged
as a walmart sweatshirt and a big mac box.

under the false pretense of "artistic"

i often think they only thing left in art is a complete
turn away from aesthetics, i dont want them anymore
there too easily snuck in to let us except that were slaves
to the same things as the budwiser drinking superbowl
watching dad we hate.



i personally know i could make things i do more
aesthetic but im not trying to appeal to that
subconscious being in youim trying to move
passed being a chimp in a blazer AND jeans
with crazy coloured nike high tops and a fedora .

upon meeting god

some times just the sound of a voice can bring
such physical pain to me
i want stab my eyes with separate swords .

post modern enlightenment

these are equal in separate parts
diverging the understanding of what our
world tells us thought all that we have is
our senses which make no sense
in a physics sense of understanding.




these are views of popular
physics and philosophy

does a rose still smell as sweet when you know its true name?

why do we think flowers are beautiful?



our senses are evolutional defense mechanisms
bred by dominate genes that cause us
to have emotional relation to things that seem
they would cause a influx in our sex/survival

hence
colorful wild flowers indicates
a bountiful area for hunting gathering
this area is supporting life and thus will
in turn support our life, so our bred
genes have passed this trait down as a
way keep us a live.

so next time you boyfriend gives you
that dozen valentine day roses
feel bad about your self.



now, every one chip in and buy me a ticket to australia,
so i can go to this exhibit, finish my hypothesis
and be crowned the new darwin
then you can brag to ur friendz about how
ur a philanthropist for the science of lulz

is this the men's section.

my new intelligent adult footwear.

imitating imitators

often i find it so hard to care about problems like the stupid mink you chose for your coat to impress the men you hate because you are one of them. I have no time for fiction.

only the "naturam doctrinae" and empirical study of serpent that engulfs it self.

fishermen know the sea is dangerious

today i bought 2 pairs of womens sneakers. one pair is
aqua marine with white trim, the other are white with
gold trim.
Whilst shopping at this particular discount
marketplace, elder women looked on appalled as i tried
on what in my eyes are the uni-sexual sneakers.
then a prepubescent girl and her friend feverishly
gawked me as i walk from one side to the other.

muttering to each other.

is, that a... boy or, a girl?...

stay calm in a moonage daydream

last night i dreamt that i was forced to buy acid wash
denim shorts, then came home to trap a giant black man
(8 to 9 feet) under my garage door to save my mom.
then i was paralyzed with fear and unable to move.
i hate when people expect me to
want to listen to there dream.

on a side note every dream i can remember for the last
7 years has been a nightmare, even the lucid ones.

the steaks are high

i went out to dinner with my grandmother and it made me remember what i like

fillet mignon medium, romeo y julieta cigars, and single malt scotch neat


i just want to drink single malt scotch and drive on the autobahn smoking a fine cigar stroking my white beard and blasting to wagner and grieg out of my mercedes until i die in a hideous car wreck

I really do love you though.

emotional blackmail is when people make you feel
bad for them making you feel bad.

The Meloncholy prince

one a prince who was very poor met a ghost princess who
was so loved. she was so beautiful, he feel in love. he
traveled very far to meet this ghost. he was hungry, so
the girl offered him a melon. but her father hated that.
he said that the prince could not eat the melon.
the prince was so close to being dead, he must eat
the melon. but then her father would never let him see
the loved princess. she made him eat the melon.
now they can only meet one day a year. because her
father would get very anger if they try to meet.
and that journey is so far.

uncomfortably comfortable

one of my small pleasure's in life is standing next to a stranger at the urinal.

on a wall of empty urinals

especially bro-dawg-thugz.

its a few minutes of a small battle won. I know its not much, petty even.

but i can do it and know there stomach turns and they eye me sideways
(and i always stand far enough away so they have to stare at my flower.)

they rush off and are pissed degraded and weak.

beaten to death

out side of burroughs the beats make me sick, they ruined counter culture.

fuck frank o'hara

fuck jack keroak

there like the god damn panic at the disco of the 50's

ring
hi mom
hi son, happy 4th of july.
yea, you too,are you guys gunna do anything today?
no, how about you son?
no.
....

$375 stomach ache

if you are ever offered a free ticket to take the next flight via Us Airways
dont take it.

you end up fighting with your dad and yelling at a guy in india

about CEOS who fly around wasting gas making gay nazi child snuff porn

and how you hope every plane they have leave the ground

goes down in flames murdering all there children and family

or instead of the free flight you were promised
we can offer you $200 off a flight that day
ok its $300 online so thats only $100....
no we cant do that price its $200 off the $700 ticket
so it will cost me more to use my coupon?
yes

the statistic que

there's no such thing as right or wrong. just the
best answer. only that which is proven statistically.

unfortunately the evolutional defense mechanism we call
consciousness/soul/human condition/personal
experience.turns us away from the trust of this tested
majority ideal of proof.

example

(statistic) -"smoking causes cancer"

(rebut)- "I dont have cancer"

proof in argument/
statistical studies linking lung cancer and smoke.

proof in argument/
personal experience of smoking.

the statistics don't say that all people who smoke will die of cancer.
the personal experience negates the idea of getting cancer.

personally people will base more of there knowledge on them selves.
then that where the personal has been disassociated for a majority.

rebuttals?

Disconections

why do you think it is I only want to live on islands

they are all my favorite places

i just want to buy a ship and go between the three

yesterday a girl stormed out of my house because she was mad at my empirical data of nature

what really matters

whats the matter?

it doesnt matter.



dark matter is only known by the absence of light.



laudamus omnium obscurare

bee careful

I think this movie is responsible for so much of the
neurosis of
my generation.

every time i see a bee, i think how ever one my age
is terrified of them. because we saw our frail purity
die, just trying to do the right thing.

being that we are now perpetual children who
would rather drink away problems at
80's dance party nights and talk about how children's
television was better when we were young and
our general reliving of the past vs. pushing
an avant-garde

because in 1991 first grade for me
i saw my self die
and so did you.
and now were struggling to find who that corpse is

I still to this day tell people I am Allergic to bees
and have never been stung

the fortune failing

"... I never did anything I wanted to"

"what dad?, come on you don't mean that...
you have had a good life, you got a nice family
and house and shit."

he placed his hand on his fathers calf, which was lying
limp on the dinge white hospital bed.

"Thats not what I said." the father said as he turned his
head to stare at the window.

"You had alot of responsibility and shit, ah-....."

the boy holding in tears also now stared at the window.

" ah-..." swollows a breath of hospital air.

"ah, sorry i was an asshole all those years..."


"but thank you for letting me be one too dad."